Letter to a friend

My dear friend:

It's so good to hear from you. Recently something happened on me. Yesterday I went to see my psychopathic doctor, he gave me another 2 kinds of medicine and also arranged me a talking meeting with a psychopathist, I got many many testing and some suggestions.

Well, good news is I got a big guideline and its helpful to me, bad news is my illness still get worst (that's why I went to see the doctor, of course) and I have to eat more medicine and got to see the doctor after 2 weeks, but the worst things aren't them.

I still don't know why there are so many argue between me and my boy-friend. We both try to change each other, in last 3 years he really made some changes from me, somehow he feel I ain't change the behaviors that he doesn't like; also with more strange reasons that I cannot understand become more argument.

Although he'd never hit me, he is still a man, a persistent man with strong power that may full of angry. In some reason I am very scare of violence and yelling voice with emotion, specially mans. Yes, I am scare of him. Somehow he isn't so safety for me even his heart is still warm as it used to be. And I feel so hard to communicate with him. Too many things he needs to know about me but he refused. He refused the ways I use that things should be told. How should I do?

I've told you there are more than three consciousnesses in my head, three are whom I know. One is myself. The second one named Franziska who will protect me when I am very depressed, she speaks English only. And the third one, he is a new one, I don't know what he named but he might be disappear 'cause he isn't show up so clearly. They usually show up when I depressed seriously 'cause the real me may hiding in some where. I can still hear them and the voice outside, but I cannot control myself when I am sinking in depress.

Wow, a big step. I tell you almost all about my illness. Isn't it too long for a simple email letter?
Thank you for your listening. It's really helpful to me.

Zizy.